Before I talk about today's terrible awful episodes, first I have to crow: This morning I weighed in beneath the 300 lb mark for the first time. Yay! It will take a few days for the moving average to catch up, but this is a huge milestone for me. I am very happy, and it was worth trudging through these craptastic Doctor-less stories to hit that milestone. 

As for the episodes themselves, as mentioned yesterday William Hartnell was given a few weeks off from filming. He clearly needed it. In his absence we get two more extremely trite and episodic entries in the quest for the Keys of Marinus.

Let's talk about that.

The Screaming Jungle

It's a jungle. It screams. Are we done here?

Sorry, dude. You said you were going to watch them all.
You know what you were getting into.

Ok, fine. The group lands in an impenetrable jungle. There is a wall with an entryway covered in clinging vines. Barbara explores, gets trapped inside by a rotating statue that separates her from the group. Ian decides that, since Barbara would probably just use the wrist transporter to jump out of danger, but he can't be sure, he sends the rest of the group on to the next destination to meet Barbara if she is there while he stays behind to make sure and to retrieve the key.

I am sure it was entirely coincidental that this means that Carole Ann Ford can then take off the rest of the week from work, and part of next week as well. Ian gets past the rotating statue and finds an aging scientist dude who promptly dies of Expositionus Deliveredus. The screaming jungle comes to life and attacks. Barbara finds the key. The two of them escape the invading creeper vines by jumping to the next location. Twenty five minutes of my life is wasted.

The Snows of Terror

William Hartnel and Carole Ann Ford are still on vacation, so the Doctor and Susan are nowhere to be found. Ian and Barbara materialize in the middle of a blizzard. A large but kindly trapper rescues them, and he totally won't turn out to be the villain of the story.

There's a chance I might be lying

Something, something, Ian leaves Barbara in the care of the not-at-all threatening Very Large Trapper Dude and goes off to rescue Susan from the Cave of Using Up Running Time. Something, something, the Very Large Trapper turns out to be threatening after all. More boring things happen, the tables are turned, the next Key is found encased in a block of ice protected by immortal warriors. Said warriors chase everyone back to the trapper's cabin, where the group jumps to the next destination and the trapper dies of fear. Twenty five more minutes of my life are wasted.

Look, I love this show. But stories like these are why people make fun of Classic Who. Deservedly so. Thankfully, only one more day of this stupid story before we move on to The Aztecs, which I adore.

STATS:

Doctor(s): First
Companion(s): Ian Chesterton, Susan Foreman, Barbara Wright
Episode(s): The Screaming Jungle, The Snows of Terror
Obvious Praftalls: 1 - Arbeton's daughter trips over air molecules in order to be properly menaced
Obvious Rubber Prison Bars: 1 - Ian has to very carefully pry his way out of a prison cell. Carefully, because the trick bar bends as soon as any pressure at all is placed against it.
Steps Walked: 6,673 today, 86,737 total
Distance Walked: 2.96 miles today, 37.90 miles total
Weight: 301.34 lbs (five day moving average), net change -5.96 lbs