I finished The Romans this morning. Although the first half had some amount of humor, the second half fully devolves into a farce. There's still a tiny bit of drama, but mostly it is played for broad comedy with Nero the Buffoon and his wacky imperial court. 

Let's talk about that.

Conspiracy / Inferno

I kid you not, the next episode opens with a straight-up Scooby Doo hallway chase. Nero has taken a liking to his new household attendant Barbara, and is chasing her through the palace like Pepé Le Pew after the lady black cat. Alternately Vicki and the Doctor are searching through the hallways, frequently only just missing seeing Barbara. There is also an obsequious Imperial attendant, plus the chief conspirator, all coming and going through different openings in the hallway. I am frankly shocked they didn't just go all the way and add Yakety Sax to the soundtrack, but thank goodness for small mercies.

What else? Oh, the Doctor is still masquerading as a great musician but of course he cannot play a note. So at a banquet, when Nero requests him to play, the Doctor proceeds to pull an "Emperor's New Clothes" routine by saying the piece he is about to play is so soft and delicate that only the most discerning ears can make it out. He then pantomimes playing an entire piece in complete silence, while the audience listens with rapt attention. Really.

Then there's the whole subplot where Nero's wife is jealous of Barbara, and directs the apothecary to poison Barbara's drink. Vicki overhears the whole thing and switches the cups so that Nero will be poisoned instead of the poor, unfortunate slave (whom she has no idea is actually Barbara). It made me think immediately of this classic scene from The Court Jester with Danny Kaye:

The scene culminates in the Doctor rushing in and preventing Nero from drinking from the Vessel with the Pestle (only just missing Barbara, who had left the room moments earlier). Nero gives the cup to the obsequious servant to drink from, upon which the servant takes one drink and then pratfalls face down dead.

Oh, and ultimately the Doctor inadvertently gives Nero the idea of setting fire to Rome, in order to clear the way for construction of his glorious new city. There is, I kid you not, a scene near the end with the Doctor and Vicki walking away from Rome as it burns to the ground, and the Doctor is amused by the wacky chain of antics that have lead to the city's destruction. He is actually smiling and laughing, while behind him presumably thousands of people are either dying or being made homeless. Oops! Did I do that?

Ian does eventually rescue Barbara, and the two of them make it back to the countryside estate well before the Doctor and Vicki return. At no point did either cross paths. The Doctor, being a waspish prick, scolds Ian and Barbara about how they have been such shameless layabouts while he and Vicki were off having an adventure and meeting Nero. Then they all go back to the TARDIS and take off for the next adventure, and we all breathe a sigh of relief that this ridiculous adventure is finally over.

STATS:

Doctor(s): First
Companion(s): Vicki, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright
Episode(s): Conspiracy, Inferno
Entendre: Double
Steps Walked: 6,453 today, 198,532 total
Distance Walked: 3.06 miles today, 89.52 miles total
Weight: 295.84 lbs (five day moving average), net change -11.46 lbs