Oh, my, today's episodes. I watched them. I finished 90 minutes ago.  Mercifully, I have already forgotten most of it. This is the third bite at the apple for the Daleks, and we have now entered the territory of "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" Fun fact: I hit that wall in the modern series a few years ago with The Daleks Take Manhattan. You want to take a guess where the setting is for the first half of today's snooze-fest?

Let's talk about that.

Flight Through Eternity

Terry Nation continues his unbroken streak of phoning it in for this story, with yet another title that has nothing to do with the actual episode. I mean, sure, I guess the TARDIS flies. But "through eternity"? Not so much. More like "through a tourist trap and the deck of a ship."

First the TARDIS materializes on the observation deck of the Empire State Building in 1968 Manhattan. There is a prolonged comedy routine with a small-town Alabama rube, who sees the TARDIS appear, meets each of the companions, and tries to take their picture. Then they all leave, and the Dalek time machine appears, which leads to more "comedy". Then the Daleks leave, continuing the chase. Seriously, that is the entirety of the first half of this episode.

The second half has the TARDIS arrive on the deck of a 19th century sailing ship. Barbara is briefly captured by one of the crew, who takes her to be a stowaway. Vicki rescues her by lightly tapping the man on the head with a belaying pin, which instantly knocks him out. Then they hear someone else coming, whom Vicki also knocks on the head. Unfortunately it turns out to be Ian. At this point Sir Ian, Knight of Jaffa and King of Pratfalls does a full two-minute stagger, and has to be dragged back into the TARDIS in a fireman's carry by Barbara and Vicki. After the TARDIS departs, the Daleks arrive and terrorize the entire ship. The crew mistakes them for some kind of nautical ghosts, and they all abandon ship in terror. One of the Daleks gets accidentally knocked over the gang plank, and presumably sinks to the bottom of the sea. Daleks are not noted for their athletic swimming ability. The "twist" of the story is that the ship turns out to be the Mary Celeste. Oooh! 

Journey into Terror

Ok, I'll give Terry Nation partial credit on the title for this one. The bulk of the story takes place inside a haunted house, which could be loosely described as inspiring "terror" (presuming you are terrified of rubber bats hanging from strings, and plastic skeletons dangled from the rafters). I have mixed feelings about this one. I mean, it's a terrible episode. The majority of the running time involves Scooby Doo level antics in a creepy house, complete with Frankenstein, Dracula, and a screaming woman in a fright wig who is supposed to be, I don't know, a witch or something? That being said, this would be the perfect episode to put on in the background with the sound turned down at your next Halloween party. So I guess that's something?

This time the Daleks arrive in their time machine before the TARDIS leaves, and there is a mad scuffle as the Dracula and Frankenstein robots confuse the Daleks while the Doctor, Ian, and Barbara escape. Did I mention that the whole thing turns out to be taking place in an abandoned carnival fun house? So yes, at one point, the mighty Daleks, scourges of the universe, are defeated by an animatronic Frankenstein, who actually picks up one Dalek and throws it back on the ground. These are clearly not Skaro's best and brightest.

In the scuffle, however, the TARDIS departs without Vicki on board. When the Doctor & company realizes that Vicki is missing, they decide that the only solution is to face the Daleks at the next stop and steal their time machine to go back after Vicki, unaware that she has actually stowed away on the Dalek ship. Also: the Daleks have built an animatronic copy of the Doctor, and intent to use it as a decoy to infiltrate the TARDIS at the next stop. Roll credits!

Ugh. This story is really how Barbara Wright, goddess, leaves the series? This is truly her final hurrah? I mean, Ian, sure, he can just keep pratfalling his way across eternity and nobody will care. But Jacqueline deserved so much better.

STATS:

Doctor(s): First
Companion(s): Vicki, Ian Chesterton, Barbara Wright
Pratfall(s): 1 glorious, Oscar-worthy prolonged stagger
Episode(s): Flight Through Eternity, Journey into Terror
Steps Walked: 6,748 today, 258,890 total
Distance Walked: 3.20 miles today, 118.16 miles total
Weight: 293.56 lbs (five day moving average), net change -13.74 lbs