Really? Really?!? After such a good story as Ghost Machine, this is how you follow it up? The only good news is that I never have to watch this tripe again.
Written by new Doctor Who show runner Chris Chibnall, once again I would be desperately worried about the Thirteenth Doctor if I had never seen Broadchurch. The gist of this story is that Ianto worked at Torchwood One during the Battle of Canary Wharf, where his girlfriend Lisa was captured by the Cybermen and partially upgraded. Somehow Ianto managed to rescue her, along with a full CyberConversion unit, and hide her in a locked room in the bowels of the Hub without Jack or anyone else knowing.
Which, as plot setups go, is not bad. Ianto has an entire emotional journey in which his duty to the woman he loves is in conflict with his duty to Torchwood, and that's some classic dramatic tension there. Of course Lisa goes all Raging Robot, and most of the story has the team trapped with her inside a locked-down and de-powered Hub -- which, again, is great from a storytelling standpoint.
So what makes this so awful?
Costume design, plain and simple. Instead of being fully upgraded into a Pete's World Cyberman, Lisa parades around in the absolute worst caricature of Fantasy Female armor every depicted on television. Battle Bra? Check. Metal Bikini Panties? Check. Do those Metal Bikini Panties include form-fitting ass cheeks? You bet! Does the exoskeleton framework just coincidentally expose and accentuate her midriff and belly button? You're damn right it does. Is the whole think capped off with high heel metal boots. Yes. Yes it is.
Fucking high heel Cyberwoman boots.
It's just awful and embarrassing, and it is tragic that this is the story where Ianto finally gets some real screen time and character development. I love actor Gareth David-Lloyd so much, and he does ultimately become the best character on the show, but this right here? This is some real bullshit.
I couldn't even finish out my full 55 minutes on the treadmill after this one. Once the final credits rolled, I was out.
The only good news today is that just prior to watching this waste of air time I did 51 push ups. That's a far cry from the hundred-per-day I was doing a few months back, but it is a nice gradual improvement after obsessively doing so many push ups every day screwed up my back. I seem to be finding a nice pace to gain strength with appropriate rest and recovery. So that's nice.
Tomorrow: Fairies. Yay!
Featuring: Captain Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Ianto Jones
Steps Walked: 6,761 today, 3,740,259 total
Distance Walked: 3.48 miles today, 1,955.19 miles total
Push-ups Completed: 51 today, 6,995 total
Sit-ups Completed: 0 today, 1,029 total
Weight: 256.18 lbs (five day moving average), net change -51.12 lbs