The thing is, World War Three. What do you think? Basically, we're against it.
I am so, so close to the end, and simultaneously buried with the busiest part of my working year. So pardon me if I am brief.
Let's talk Doctor Who.
The Pyramid at the End of the World
(TARDIS Data Core recap)
The Doctor, Bill, and Nardole are summoned to Fauxraqistan because a five-thousand-year-old pyramid has popped up overnight right in the middle of the three largest armies in the world. Strangely, the American army is lead by a Colonel instead of a four star general. Or maybe it's strange that a soldier clearly wearing the rank of a four star general continually allows himself to be addressed as Colonel. It couldn't possibly be because the nobody on the entire production team could be bothered to look up American military ranks.
The pyramid houses the Monks from the previous episode, and they are powerful enough to pluck bombers out of the air and submarines out of the sea, and yet they insist that they can only take over the world if we humans ask them very nicely to do so. They might look like mummified corpses, but dang if they aren't relentlessly polite. I mean, aside from when they are disintegrating people who surrender out of fear instead of heaping them with love and adoration. Nice lot, really.
Meanwhile, off in England, a pair of scientists at an agricultural bio-research facility are both having a Very Bad Day. One of has her reading glasses accidentally smashed by her clueless husband, which means when it comes time to mix the MiraclePlantGrowth chemical she has to ask her co-worker to do the honors. Except that dude was out partying all night the night before (as research scientists are wont to do), and he is suffering from a severe hangover with symptoms that include the inability to shave and also blurry vision at exactly the wrong moment. This leads to a misplaced decimal, which leads to the creation of an OhMyGodItsDoomsday chemical instead of the much more desirable MiraclePlantGrowth chemical. Oops.
So while the leaders of the largest militaries in the world are preparing to hand over the Earth to a bunch of extras from Tombs of the Blind Dead (and without said military leaders ever so much as making a courtesy phone call to their civilian governments), the Doctor does a Very Clever Thing to find out where the OhMyGodItsDoomsday chemical is brewing. He swans off with Nardole in the TARDIS to go save the world, leaving Bill behind at the pyramid with the military leaders because... whatever.
Unfortunately, in the process of saving the day the Doctor becomes trapped inside the laboratory, and what with being blind and all he can't enter in the correct numeric code to unlock the lab door because instead of using a keypad like literally every numeric input anywhere else on the planet, the door uses a giant set of tumblers that the Doctor's MagicSonicShades can't read. Oops.
So Bill begs the Monks to give the Doctor back his eyesight so that he can escape the exploding lab, and the world is saved. I mean, aside from the part where the Monks totally take over the world.
This is the middle part of a trilogy of stories, so of course it ends badly. And as much as I joke, it is actually pretty dang good. The Monks have a very unique World Domination strategy, and I like their faux Egyptian mummy look. Also, both of the research scientists are very engaging and well-written. It is also worth noting that the part of the female research scientist is played by a woman who is only 4'1" tall, and yet her hight has absolutely no bearing on the story nor does it receive any commentary at any time. Except, you know, how I am commenting on it now. She is a great actress, and this is a huge win for inclusive casting. I kind of expected her to die at the point where the Doctor practically invited her to join the TARDIS crew, but sadly she just got left behind at the lab to sweep up all the debris after the big fireball. Ah, well.
So that's it for this one. Tomorrow wraps up the Monk trilogy. I am sure it totally won't be a commentary on the rise of fascism and how readily mankind accepts that kind of evil crap.
Companion(s): Bill Potts, Nardole
Episode(s): Pyramid at the End of the World
Steps Walked: 7,556 today, 3,588,298 total
Distance Walked: 3.90 miles today, 1,876.43 miles total
Push-ups Completed: 0 today, 6,747 total
Sit-ups Completed: 0 today, 1,029 total
Weight: 246.86 lbs (five day moving average), net change -60.44 lbs