Four days of K9 down and nine days to go. Not that I am counting or anything. But this time around I actually have something to say about at least one of the episodes I watched today.

The Fall of the House of Gryffen

(TARDIS Data Core recap)

Thus far it seems like K9 pretty much only has two stories to tell. The first one is "something comes through the spacetime portal", and the second one is "K9 might be evil (but isn't)". As you might imagine, I was underwhelmed when this story began with something coming through he spacetime portal.

But.

It actually turned out to be a marginally interesting story. Back in the pilot there was some setup with how Professor Gryffen had lost his wife and two children in some unstated incident, and he was trying to get them back. This story is the first to circle back around to that setup. It starts out as your basic gothic horror story, which is certainly right in the Doctor Who wheelhouse, as all of our leads are stuck inside the Gryffen mansion during a severe thunderstorm and are subsequently haunted by what appear to be the ghosts of Professor Gryffen's lost family. 

Ultimately, of course, they turn out to be some kind of negative energy creatures who are playing on the Professor's memories in order to cross over into our world. But along the way it is a surprisingly competent story that gives all of the characters some real meat to dig their acting chops into. So on that count I give it a vague thumbs up as being the first generally watchable episode of the series.

If that sounds like faint praise, well, it's the best I can muster. During the climax of the story, it has Darius and Jorjie in mortal peril as they are being drawn into the spacetime vortex to be harvested by these negative creatures. Ok, cool, that's a pretty standard plot device. Unfortunately, both of them are held down onto tables by a completely invisible force. This is the second time the show has done this, had two characters held down on tables with no visible restraints and with the actors having to plaintively cry out that they can't move. No shimmering special effects, no nothing, just pure method acting. It is the kind of cheapness that only serves to show how little this show cares.

Worse, poor Jorjie has to pose herself with one foot up on the table and with that leg held across the other in a desperate attempt to maintain her dignity because the costume designer has chosen to dress her in a very short skirt for this story. There are several shots where the actress has clearly (and desperately) tucked a fold of her skirt between her legs during close ups, because the director keeps putting a camera right at table level pointing right at her knees. Bear in mind that this is a YA series, and that this is a sixteen year old actress. I feel bad for her. The least they could have done is given her a damn pair of pants for this episode.

Ok, I'm done with my cranky dad rant.

Jaws of Orthrus

(TARDIS Data Core recap)

As for this story, well...  it's summary would be "K9 might be evil (but isn't)". Again.

While I am ranting, can I talk about the costuming of the lead character Starkey? He is supposed to be a teenage runaway/orphan with no family and no home. While Jorjie apparently goes off to school during the day, and while Darius works for the Professor, Starkey is pretty much just a street kid. Sure, he winds up being taken in by the Professor, but his entire character bio is that this is a kid with nothing. Except that every single episode he seems to have a different shirt, all with some variation of the same stylized logo on them. It is a distinctive character look. My question is, where did he get all these shirts? Is this logo a common popular thing like the Nike swoosh, and he is just so committed to the brand that he refuses to wear any shirt that doesn't bear the image? Or is it a custom logo he designed himself, and if so then how did he get so many variations of it? Where did he get the time and the money to have them made while he was out living on the streets Fighting the Man? Or did he convince the professor to not only give him a place to live, but to also have an entire wardrobe custom made?

On top of that, with as much time as Starkey, Jorjie, and Darius spend running around the sewers of London, how do they manage to always keep their clothes looking off-the-rack pristine? Even after two nights sleeping in the sewers, none of their clothes ever have even the slightest smudge on them. Maybe the textiles of the future have some kind of additive that keeps them permanently clean? I dunno. But part of the reason all of these characters seem so plastic and one dimensional is that they all look plastic and one dimensional.

Christ, this show can't end soon enough for me.

STATS:

Companion(s): K9, Starkey, Jorjie Turner, Darius Pike, Alistair Gryffen
Episode(s): The Fall of the House of Gryffen / Jaws of Orthrus
Steps Walked: 7,481 today, 4,268,453 total
Distance Walked: 3.81 miles today, 2,233.93 miles total
Push-ups Completed: 0 today, 9,800 total
Sit-ups Completed: 200 today, 3,465 total
Weight: 263.96 lbs (five day moving average), net change -43.347481 lbs